13/7/25

So far, no more Cheerios have been found in the frozen vegetables. This pleases the humans immensely. They do wonder if anyone else has seen any. The factory advises that no meat is allowed to enter the premises.  The Mistress feels someone may have sabotaged the production from their lunch boxes as a prank. We may never know.

Stress levels are rising around here, and everyone's blood pressure is up. The testing kit is not in a hurry to be put back into the cupboard. The Caravan fellow has to pay up by Tuesday. This sounds very serious. Two severe failed warrants of fitness are now sure to catch the judge's attention, if this goes to court.

I ask where we will live, because we will end up homeless. I have nothing to worry about, they assure me. Plans are in place. Oh, I wish they would discuss this with me. As usual, because I don't contribute to the household funds, I have no say at all. A tough life for a mere Gnome.

I'm just praying very loudly that I don't get put in a box, like that friend down in Waimate did to me. The thought makes me have high anxiety. Perhaps my blood pressure is also elevated. When they go to bed tonight, I might just get it out and check mine, too.

The Mistress is still missing that ginger cat out at the farm. She is often talking about him. It would be easier to get a cat to live with us, wherever this may be. She reckons they would not have the freedom to go away house-sitting. I agreed with her, plus the vet bills when they are sick. I even suggested that she foster them like she used to. His Lordship isn't keen on this, it appears. 

14/7/25

I have been forbidden from using this computer for the past couple of days. That Mistress seems to have a bee in her bonnet. Anyway, I am here now.

I need to report to you about this blood pressure business. When all was quiet last night, I retrieved the BP kit and gave it a try myself. It was a lot of fun trying to get it to work.  Such a long cord for a mere Gnome, and that black thing is bigger than me. I had to give up as I was all tangled up with the cord. 

Yesterday, the Mistress was cooking up a storm right beside where I sit at the window. She had vegetable soup in the crockpot. What a stink. All the vegetables she could find went into it, and then they went out, leaving me in charge. 

Oh, my goodness, what am I to do with it? Lifting the lid was out of the question. This would have created a much bigger smell that I disliked. How can humans put such things in their tummies?  Gnomes eat much better than humans. Fresh vegetables are a must, and everything else we can find in nature. Raiding the vegetable patch is always fun because we play hide and seek at the same time. Buster was found under a cabbage, and I was among the carrots. Then we navigate through the weeds, which is simply not fun at all. The biddy bids attach themselves to us and are difficult to remove.

Trixie, my girlfriend, tries hard to prepare our meals to our liking, but she reckons we are hard to please. I may need to replace the cook and find another, but I really do like her, and we have a lot of fun together, like these humans.

His Lordship should sack his cook because of those very unpleasant smells. They ate it last night for their dinner, so it cannot be poisonous. It is incredibly challenging to understand humans, and I doubt I will ever fully comprehend them. She is always suggesting I read my book for the answers. Where do I start? Is my question. 

Trixie and I certainly do not lead complicated lives, like the humans. I do get tired from all this reading, and sometimes I meditate, which Trixie says is good for me. She said if I tried hard, the meditation might give me more answers, as we are in touch with our soul at that time. My soul..... something else to learn. 


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