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Showing posts from February, 2025
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  26/2/25 Waiting to go on holiday There is only one more sleep before we leave, and I am doing everything possible to ensure I do not get left at home. I try standing in her way, jumping all over the suitcase, and generally making  a real nuisance of myself. The Mistress mutters under her breath and battles on with her tasks. I am on edge, worrying that they may leave me at home. I need to be in on the action, check out Tabitha, and go on the trips they do in the car to explore the place. All this is so stressful for a Gnome, you know. The Mistress just says like it or lump it; they are my choices. Hang on a minute; I could think of a few more options, but these may well see me staying home. This human world we share is so harsh on Gnomes. After all, we do our best to look after the planet, and this is the thanks we get. She often requests that I read up on everyone's human lives, and I would see that gnomes have been on this planet for hundreds and thousands of years, w...
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22/2/25 The Mistress has been cooking again. This morning, a kind neighbor brought over some beetroot that she could not use. She had to decide whether to slice it and put it in a jar or make relish. His Lordship is the only one here who eats it. His darling thinks it tastes like dirt. So relish it is, I supervised this process and ensured she didn't chop up her fingers. The recipe has no meat, and a piece of meat could ruin the taste completely.  All went well, and the ingredients were in the pan for the next stage, but she needed to buy one ingredient. Pickling spice was missing from her collection of herbs, so when she went to fetch her darling from golf, a stop at the supermarket was required.  She feels the heat today and has the fan over at the bench. We cannot have her pass out. This would mean mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, which gnomes are not good at. We do not go mouth-to-mouth with other Gnomes. We just leave them to come around in their own time. If they don't, the...
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  16/2/25 There are vegetables galore around here, and the Mistress has been busy making assorted pickles in jars. She told her darling she wanted to try making these as a variety with salads. I supervised this task to make sure she did it right. I must say they look bright and chirpy while sitting on the bench. They had some for dinner that night because she ran out of jars. To her delight, her darling looked for more. Maybe she needs to make more, she wondered. Now, she is calling herself an Indian giver because she gave a load of jars to her brother-in-law when she shifted, and now their plans have changed. Tomato Relish Now, on to the tomatoes. I am worried that a nasty smell may occur during the cooking process. I recall very well last summer when I could not escape. That smell stuck around for days on end. It was putrid. Gnomes are not accustomed to such stinky events. I will take off if she gives me a chance, but that was just a dream. My new friends will wonder wh...
  10/2/25 Yesterday, the humans went out for the day, and we thought they forgot to come home. It was a lovely day, so we went to the vegetable patch. We had to go the back way, down two fence lines. There were humans around, and we couldn't be seen. It was such a long way for our little legs.  Someone dug in the garden, so we went in another direction, as it was huge, and we wouldn't be seen. This limited what we could do, however. Playing amongst the potatoes and tickling them under the pile of dirt was highly entertaining. Throwing them at each other made us fall over and lose our footing. A quick brush down made us sneeze as it was so dusty. Such hard work, we thought. When we had enough, we headed back via the long route. There were humans all over the place. When the coast was clear, we would get to the next place, hide in the shade, rest our weary legs, then move on to the next.  The humans I live with are getting tetchy about this caravan debacle. The Mistres...
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6/2/25 A wild night was had by all. I cannot tell you much, but we had a lot of fun in the vegetable garden.  There is quite an assortment of vegetables growing. One chap pulled a carrot out and headed down the drive as a large group of bunnies were having a merry old time and producing many more bunnies. There were few bunnies on our arrival, but the population exploded. We are not interested in how they do this. TMI, we say. They are pretty partial to fresh carrots, and they grabbed the carrot. There was a significant fight, as the others wanted some, too, but there was only one carrot. We left them there fighting and took off back to the vegetable garden. We did leave a mess, and we hope the owner doesn't growl at the humans. He will not realize it was us even though he talks to The Mistress about her collection and crazy hobby.  7/2/25 The Mistress has new glasses. I hardly recognized her. His Lordship loves them and announces that they look good on her and her p...
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1/2/25 The Mistress is soaking up the peace and quiet today. Golf day again. Let's hope his practice yesterday did some good.  We have been out to try to climb onto the bike again. It's so much fun when you get to the pedal, and the thing doesn't stop moving. Falling off is the only thing we can achieve.  Getting a sore bum, mostly, then we try again. The jolly thing is not that steady, either. Oh, our legs need to grow, they say, The Mistress must have heard what we wanted to do and come to assist. She said a gnome couldn't ride a human bike. Our question was, "Where can we buy a Gnome bike?" She informed us that she had no idea, but if she found one, she would buy it. I reckon she needs to go shopping. She thought they would be pretty hard to come by. His Lordship goes off daily for a ride to get his knee working. He sure knows all about it when he comes home. Each day, he goes for a longer ride than the day before. ' 4/2/25 As usual, that Mistress h...