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Showing posts from December, 2024
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29/12/24 I have been unable to get on the computer for the past few days. The Mistress has been quite stroppy, and I am far from amused. She seems to pay more attention to the resident cat, who now sits on the arm of her chair. Today, she wrote an email to the cat's human family, and she told the cat this, so the cat put her paw on the Mistress's wrist while writing. What next, I ask you. These two are constantly chatting with each other, and each knows what the other is saying.  Regarding the birds outside, Tabitha is in complete control, with the birds screeching. She does have success at times, and sometimes the Mistress calls her to stop and come inside, which she does, of course.  For several nights now, she has enjoyed being brushed and sending Tabitha into a state of pure bliss. However, she doesn't spend time with me, and I get jealous. It is a tough life being a mere Gnome. Tabitha This cat waltzes past me during the night and is not aware I am watching her....
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25/12/24 Yeah, it is Christmas Day. I have chocolates galore around me. I didn't see Santa arrive, so I must have been asleep.  It is very quiet here ; no kids live around where we stay. The resident cat keeps an eye on things as she waltzes through. I believe she didn't tickle the humans' toes last night. This was a bonus, as they were frightened when Tabitha reached out. I just see the funny side! This does not make me popular at all. His Lordship could not wait to carve the ham for lunch. I heard him say, "Is it lunchtime yet?" Eventually, the Mistress announced she would put the potatoes on. The look on his face was priceless. It appears he loves ham, new potatoes, and Trifle.  Cheers everyone I was allowed my wine, but the bubbles got up my nose. She made a salad to go with the ham and potatoes. His Lordship raided the mint outside for the potato pot.  It was a quiet Christmas for us three. His Lordship went to sleep in his chair, and I did hear him snoring, ...
  24/12/24 One more sleep until Santa comes to deliver gifts to the children—not Gnomes this year. Times are getting tough, and they tell me that humans are tightening their belts and getting picky about who gets gifts, which seems to include Gnomes. I am not allowed a stocking this year, and instead, I am to see what happens. Hmm, I am not so sure about this idea.  The humans took me out in the car the past few days, but I was not allowed out while they went into some shops. They came back empty-handed each time. They took a trip to Milton, south of Mosgiel, and then the Mistress said, "What about Balclutha? "Shall we go there, as it is just down the road? "  Each time they left the car without me, I quickly looked out the window. These places were deserted, and The Mistress says these towns used to buzz with people. Some humans wore gumboots, and it wasn't even raining. The humans announce that they do this in small country towns.  It is engaging peo...
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  22/12/24 Amazingly, they remembered to take me out today. I was plonked in the back seat on a far too low cushion to see out the window. The Mistress's running commentary of where we were was a help, but I would rather see for myself. The seat belt around me was no help either.  She announced that I had to be safe, and the humans, too, wear seat belts. Yeah, I am on an outing with my humans. Where are we going? Port Chalmers from His Lordship. Gee, I have never heard of this place. I could see the lush green hills from my low point in the back seat. Jeepers, it was a very windy, curving, tortuous, and twisty road.  Finally, we got to our destination. We passed Port Chalmers and are now on to Aramoana. The road was very narrow, and the Mistress was holding on tight. She told her darling that she was hugging the banks. In other words, he was far too close, but she could see that if traffic came towards us, where would we go? Not over the other bank, please. There wer...
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  20 12/24 These humans are in and out like flies, and I have complained that they forget about me. This is my holiday too, and I want to see what they see. This mushy stuff continues around here, too. They are a happy couple, always laughing and joking around. I could have been in that big frame the other day, and I am so annoyed they forgot me. They walk daily and encounter more Gnomes and their friends in the bushes.  I had to look deep into the bushes for some. They told me where they were, which isn't far from here but a long way for Gnome legs. Upon returning home, the Mistress has to sit down, and this resident cat comes to investigate what they are up to. She is a nosey thing and quite chatty, too. The Mistress and her have the same language. They are always talking to each other, and last night, she jumped up on the arm of her chair to say hello but didn't stay. His Lordship said she jumped up on their bed through the night while the Mistress slept. He looked at her, ...
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  16/12/24 I was shoved in bubble wrap and put in a bag for this trip South. No amount of protesting did me any good. I guess this was because a few days ago, His Lordship put an empty case on me in the back seat, and she went nuts, saying I could have broken. Yes, I would not have been happy in dozens of pieces. He doesn't realize I am fragile. I wonder if he would growl if I put the suitcase on his head. I guess getting it up that high could be a mission. Oh well, it is tough to survive in this human world. The humans called into Waimate to see three lots of people. All of them had recently been or were currently sick. One of them, the Mistress, mentioned to her son, "For goodness sake, feed your mother; she was skin and bone." Now I heard all this from the back seat, as the door was open, and they were yacking very near me. It was a flying visit this time, but hopefully, we will stay longer on the way back.  The Mistress raided her Aunties Garden for flowers ...
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13/12/24   Jeepers, the Mistress was up very early today as two inspector chaps came to look over our caravan. One of them was the boss man, too. They checked over all sorts of things and kept the tape measure busy. The end result is that the warrant has been revoked. This also means the salesman must tow it illegally or put it on a massive truck. Let's hope he gets caught towing it illegally. Oh dear, did I say this? The Mistress might just get me to wash my mouth out with soap. She will have to find me first.  Can you find me? His Lordship has gone to play golf this afternoon, so The Mistress got to it and packed her case, ready to take away on our holiday. They informed me that there were only two more sleeps.  I hope she remembers to take the computer and me, of course. Her memory isn't that flashy at times, but for goodness sake, do not tell her.  Last night, while walking down the road and entrance to this place, someone put a load of fine shingle down the...
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11/12/24 Something is going on here at present. The empty boxes have turned up today. I asked what was happening because nobody had discussed this situation with me. As usual, I was told I have no say since I do not contribute to the income around here. The joys of being a mere Gnome. We could get word anytime that a refund for the caravan may happen.  But we are going away, I say. His Lordship may have to return to pack the caravan up for the fella to pick up. This person is not at all nice and is not a favorite of these humans. The Mistress keeps checking her emails for some news. The news I want to hear is where the heck we are going to live. I am told to watch this space. What does this mean, for goodness' sake?  It's a nightmare for a gnome to try to understand how these humans tick. When I've figured it out, they throw another curveball.  Last night, we returned to the compost heap for a rough and tumble. Poo, it is rather stinky now, and some of us went too deep in...
8/12/24 The humans are saying thank goodness it is a bit cooler today. They took me to a BBQ yesterday and left me in the car. The Mistress has her mind on other things these days. She only has eyes for her man and not me. How times have changed since he waltzed into her life? It appears she can only handle one bloke at a time, especially since she had a zero added to her age. Every pot needs a lid, and she found one that fits perfectly.  Getting back to the car, it was very hot for a gnome to be stuck. The doors were locked, and there was no way I could get out. I sat up at the window and checked out the talent. It is not a busy street up in Christchurch, but I spotted a dog or two on a lead going for their daily walk. It was fascinating watching a dog going about his business. I just discovered that they also come in all shapes and sizes. Gnomes too. There are skinny and fat ones, tall and short, fluff and no fluff too. Some humans have fluff, too, some more than others. Gno...
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  4/12/24 Sitting on top of our new car in Rakaia Cafe with a friend                     My Pride of place Well, it has been a busy day here. We took His Lordship to golf in our brand-new car. It's bright red, and The Mistress knows that red cars go faster. It is similar in color to her red and black Suzuki Swift, but she hasn't got black stripes on this one yet! I am sure that as the swift went faster with these on, it will surely help if she chooses to. I just loved the stripes, too.  This Turbo job is a very smart Ford Escape 2024. So, while the cat was away, the mice had a play and took the car to Rakaia to meet her friend for lunch. She manages this car far better than the other big thing, and it is easier to park.  I sat back and really enjoyed the ride out in the country air. Grrrr computers                            They enjoyed their lunch...